i spent $10 on this dragon fruit the other day at whole foods. this is why i often run out of money. this thing is filled with color beyond your wildest imagination. i could stare at it for days. however, i was not all that impressed with the flavor. funny isn’t it. i guess you can’t have the best of both worlds all the time?
i saw this movie last night celeste and jesse forever. it was super cute and funny and filmed in my own stopping grounds of LA. i have to admit it made me nostalgic for my city, for my old life. the truth is, i don’t do the things i use to. i don’t utilize this city the way i use to. i don’t walk to the coffee shop anymore, i hardly ever eat out or go out, and even going to the movies seems like a treat when it use to be a weekly event. it seems to have lost it’s soul for me, and this movie made me miss that.
at the end of the movie, i turned to my friend and admitted this…and proceeded to say, this is like a break-up. then, it all made sense. i love LA, but this city is like a boyfriend to me, the one you know is not right for you. you love him, he can make you feel good at times, there are so many good memories, and it is really really hard to let go even though you know you should. the spark just isn’t there. you fight (or sit in traffic) and just can’t understand each other anymore. some days the attraction is still there, other’s you can’t even stand to look at him.
LA. it has been my companion for a long time now. ( in reality, just a few boyfriends in between and a WHOLE lot of weirdos). maybe i have tried to make it work for a long time now. maybe i haven’t tried hard enough. some days i get excited about the future, others, i get really really scared. this movie made me a little scared, to miss what i know. i realized i have a hard road ahead of me of letting go, changing, and leading down a new path. hopeful, that when one door shuts, another one opens.
thinking of my sister, julie, a lot right now. she is having some complications after giving birth. if you pray to a god, maybe you can say one!