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to do. to see. to hear. to love

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the past 9 months i have lived on one of the recommended scenic byways in colorado. a river flows through my backyard and i am surrounded by horses. i can walk onto the original dirt road to estes park and did almost daily. every time single time i have walked out my front door i can honestly say i was filled with gratitude, happiness, enchantment, and luck. every time i came home, i felt content.

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul”- John Muir

when people ask me why i moved to colorado, i am not exactly sure how to answer it. part embarrassment, part not wanting to spill my emotions all over their lap, and partly because i never knew how to put it into words. i have alluded to it many times here on the blog-it’s always easier for me to voice through written word. i had hit a very unhappy point in my life in LA. i felt stuck and unsure, i was deeply hurt in a battle of who’s right and wrong, disappointed by failed “relationships” or lack there of, my insecurities may have grown deeper than they ever have in those last two years, and i was left not knowing whom i was anymore. i needed to escape. i needed to learn to be alone. i needed to feel something greater than myself.

“Take a course in good water and air; and in the eternal youth of Nature you may renew your own. Go quietly, alone; no harm will befall you.” – John Muir

i took this chance with such certainty. i was nervous, but not scared. i knew it was the right thing to do. i have grown to love myself again even if there are a few demons occasionally turning the thoughts in my head. nothing and nobody can be perfect. i have come to realize that this life is precious- it is wonderful and worthy and our doubts and questions are what leads us to find that. i have found a peace that DOES exist, for me at least and a contentment i will have to work hard at keeping without the glorious earth presenting herself literally to me daily.

“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.” – John Muir

in my heart, i feel it is time to move on. i admit i worry i will loose what i have found here when i leave, but that fear can’t be what keeps me from going. this time i am scared. i am certain i must go, i am excited to be on the road traveling and visiting friends- (i am calling it tour de friends!) but i haven’t a clue where i shall end up. maybe it is back in LA, maybe it is here in Colorado, maybe it is Chicago, i am day dreaming of europe. i know one day, i shall see myself at peace in the country again- whether it is in my dreams or a reality.

“The mountains are calling, I must go.” – John Muir

my emotions run deep, my sensitivity high, my empathy and even anger can sometimes fuel me, and my dreams soar high every day.

i am a what they call a dreamer. i dream up trips and adventures, i dream up love stories, i dream up lifestyles, i dream up different kinds of businesses, i dream up creations. sometimes, i even get to live out some of my dreams. they may not manifest with exact execution, but they exist. i learned that on this colorado adventure. How can i not consider myself lucky? i leave here a better person. i leave here with more than i expected.

“The power of imagination makes us infinite.”- John Muir

as for the blog- i don’t know where she shall lead. i have contemplated starting a new section: on the road, as the majority of the next 4-6 months will be just that. my life is packed in boxes and shoved into a 7×10 cube. i admit i am kind of excited to be rid of “stuff” for a bit. traveling makes it a bit more difficult for me to blog, because i do not have a laptop. there are many ideas floating around about what to do- we will just have to wait and see how it all flows. for now, you can follow me on instagram if you like, sunandglory, where i will be sure to update often with photos, because i am addicted.

oh, and sun and glory was written up on the UK online magazine THE UPCOMING. today, started off as a really good day. recognition is humbling and a true honor. check out the article here.

this isn’t goodbye, but another beginning. first stop, yellowstone national park.

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Comments

10 Comments

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  1. September 15, 2013

    Your path is incredibly inspiring.

    I am so sorry for your loss in Colorado with your friends and the river, but I am so happy to hear that you are safe. You listened to your soul, it is such a powerful lesson to take note of. Thanks for sharing your story, for taking the time to write about it, to be honest, as these are the real things in life.

    Our friends, our stories, our home, our journey. So weird to say, as I didn’t really know you that well, but I am so proud of you – this journey you are on. I relate so much on many levels, as I moved many many times before finding my “home.” I wish you well, and strength on your continued journey.

    Keep writing and seeking!!!! And creating beautiful work. Congrats on your recent press, it is deserved. The work is incredible.

    • September 15, 2013

      Thank you david. Your support and encouragement means the world, especially coming from you, whom I admire a great deal. I am happy to know there can be a means to an end in finding “home”, that sometimes we all search for something. I hope our paths cross again. Much love!!

  2. September 11, 2013

    Colorado and John Muir will go with you and remind you to stay on your path. Best of luck on your quest. Still have your four-legger?

  3. September 10, 2013

    Reblogged this on A Reach For Glory.

  4. September 10, 2013

    Reblogged this on .

  5. September 9, 2013

    awesome!

  6. September 9, 2013

    It sounds like you’ve learned a great deal, about yourself and the world–very courageous. Good luck–I hope you can continue with the blog!

  7. LuckyPorcupine #
    September 9, 2013

    you and i dreamers alike. good luck on life’s adventures.

  8. September 9, 2013

    Whatever you decided to do, wherever you decide to go . . . best wishes for making the most of a great life! It’s been a pleasure to read your blog!

  9. September 9, 2013

    I hope you do manage to continue to blog and enjoy your trip!

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